


Not The Worst Thing

by GirlWhoWrites



Series: Threesome 'Verse [2]
Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Bisexual Twilight, Diverse Twilight, F/F/M, Go big or go home for the first day of the challenge, JaliceWeek21 (Twilight), LGBTQA Twilight, Multi, NSFW, Poly Twilight, Project Jasper Gets Laid 2021, Roadtrip, Romance, Shenanigans, Threesome, Twilight Renaissance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-12 01:35:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29252331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GirlWhoWrites/pseuds/GirlWhoWrites
Summary: Look, it’s not the worst thing they’ve ever done. Jasper’s certain of that. He’s reflected on every stupid thing the three of them have ever done (Calgary. West Virginia. Everything that happened during Paris Fashion Week in ’82) and he’s certain that this isn’t as bad.
Relationships: Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale, Alice Cullen/Jasper Hale/Jessamine Hale, Alice Cullen/Jessamine Hale
Series: Threesome 'Verse [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2147940
Comments: 3
Kudos: 18
Collections: Jalice Week - February 2021





	Not The Worst Thing

**Author's Note:**

> I thought to myself, "this is a little full-on for the first Jaliceweek fic. Maybe I should write something else." And then I didn't, I just figure that it's more fun if I throw random threesome smut at you without warning.
> 
> Plus, I need to publish the 3some verse in time for Remix Redux. So, it's a win/win. 
> 
> And yes, I know there are like 5 people in the entire world who tolerate this particular 'verse', and I'm two of them. I don't care, my babies live rent-free in my head.

Look, it’s not the worst thing they’ve ever done.

Jasper’s certain of that. He’s reflected on every stupid thing the three of them have ever done (Calgary. West Virginia. Everything that happened during Paris Fashion Week in ’82) and he’s certain that this isn’t as bad.

It’s just a car, no one was hurt, and there were no witnesses. (That fact makes him feel warm again, the images that Alice painted in his head, and his wife just smirks at him, as if she can read his mind.)

It’s going to be fine.

Even if none of them, not even Alice, have come up with a good-believable- acceptable story yet.

Because the truth dies with them.

—

It’s that time again, time to pack up and leave another town, another home, another life behind. Edward often talks about how easy it was to move when it was just him, Carlisle, and Esme. Usually Rosalie says something or throws something because she resents anyone voicing the idea she isn’t a gift to the family. She feels responsible for Emmett’s burden on the Cullens as well (but only Jasper knows that), and she resents the pointed remarks Edward makes when Carlisle shakes his head at the pile of luggage that needs to be transported.

As if Edward isn’t insisting on a baby grand piano at each and every residence.

Their destination is Alaska; it’s one of those ‘off’ trips, where they spend a few lazy years in Alaska without school or the human act, and recharge before entering society again. They’ve stayed with Tanya and her family before, but this time, the house is finished. A smallish lodge a good and safe distance away from Tanya’s permanent residence, where they will hole up until Carlisle gets the itch to teach, or Rosalie feels too inhuman, or Alice gets irritated about limited online shopping options.

Or until Emmett does untold damage to the bear population. Whichever comes first.

The trip from Vermont to Alaska is a long one, one that none of them are thrilled about when they realise that, for all intents and purposes, they really need to _drive._ It’s too difficult to run with their possessions in tow; it’s really too risky to have Jasper (or Jess) (or Emmett) on a commercial airline, and they don’t want to deal with the legalities of flying themselves there. Alaska can only be their base as long as it doesn’t get tangled up in their human identities.

So, driving. Rosalie is in charge of arranging transport, since most of the cars will be placed in storage. Jess follows her around for a week, trying to make a convincing argument for bringing the motorcycle Rose was upgrading for Jasper, despite the fact that Jasper has banned Jess from looking directly at the Ninja, let alone touching it. Somehow, Jess wins, and it is decided that Rosalie and Emmett will take the Jeep; Carlisle, Esme, and Edward will take the Land Rover with the bike on the trailer, and Alice, Jasper, and Jess will bring the Audi SUV. It takes an entire night to pack the cars so that everything fits, and there’s still leg room, and there are only three arguments, and no fist-fights.

It’s considered a success.

—

It’s a seventy five-ish hour drive from Vermont to Alaska, and that pleases no one. They have to stop for fuel, to get the hell out of the car for awhile, and to hunt. They take turns driving, though Rosalie sends several messages regarding Alice’s driving, and Edward gives Jess a lecture at the gas station about indication laws.

Alice has long run out of magazines, and the tablets and laptops have run flat. Everyone is bored, and tired of being trapped in the car; Jess opted for the backseat with Alice at the last stop. From the fact that Alice was rifling through his wallet for a credit card, he suspects that they’ve just purchased a new Alaskan wardrobe. Probably for him, unfortunately.

They run through the card games, the game apps, mind and word games fairly quickly - it’s hard to play against Alice at the best of times.

They’re somewhere in Canada - Saskatchewan, Jasper thinks - when Jess and Alice both half-drape themselves over the back of the seats and declare that they’re bored.

The only thing more dangerous than Alice being bored is Alice and Jess being bored together (or possibly Emmett and Jess being bored together. They all remember what happened in Missouri).

“You wanna drive?” he offers, looking at his phone to see that Carlisle has stopped to check the motorcycle is tethered properly, and that Emmett and Rosalie are way behind. He hasn’t been speeding excessively, but they’re a good deal ahead of the rest of the family. He’s sure Edward will have a lecture for him for that.

Jess shakes her head to driving, but Alice is staring vacantly into space, a void of emotion for a moment before he recognises that warm trickle of her lust and desire. She reaches out to rest her bare hand against Jess’s, and Jess’s interest in piqued in a split second.

It wouldn’t be the first time any of them have had sex in a car; he had a pick-up back in Minnesota that he and Alice had christened well and often. He knows that Edward’s car back in Vermont had had its shocks tested by Jess and Alice on more than one occasion. There was the time at the last high school where they all ended up in the backseat of Emmett’s Jeep, and ended up getting hauled in front of the principal for suspected pot smoking, when reality was probably something that would have given the old man a stroke.

Emmett and Rose are nearly as bad as them. Hell, there’s a reason no one ever borrows Carlisle’s Mercedes; the things that car has witnessed.

But as Jess pulls Alice back into her arms, both his girls leaning in for a kiss, he feels like this is something new. This isn’t sneaking out to the garage for some privacy, or driving to some remote area so that nosy brothers can’t harass them. This is him driving a car across Canada with his girls pawing at each other in the backseat, their desire and arousal almost a flavour on the back of his tongue, he’s so attuned to it now.

He reaches up to adjust the rearview mirror to give him a better angle, as Alice straddles Jess’s knee, her hips grinding down as they kiss. Jess always kisses him hard and sharp, like a challenge or she’s defying someone. But with Alice, they kiss slow and lingering, they get wrapped up in each other.

(Alice and Jess both agree he kisses like he means it; Alice says he kisses her like it might be their last kiss every single time. Jess says he kisses her like he’s encouraging her, trying to draw her closer. Alice kisses like she’s got a secret that she’s letting the other person in on. They both agree on that.)

Alice stops rocking against Jess, and leans up to murmur something in her ear, but the emotion in the car is still heavy, weighing on him. It’s been a long two weeks - packing, preparing the house to be locked up, storing things, arranging identities and finances and all the legal minutiae. Not enough time for more than a quick kiss and a grope, and all of a sudden, he is aching to be with his girls. One of those long and lingering nights that ends with the three of them sprawled together, talking about nothing. A good night is when Alice is cradled between the two of them, her head on Jasper’s shoulder as she plays with Jess’s hands. A better night is when the pair of them sprawl on top of him, one against each shoulder.

(Alice giggles that she ended up with two empaths who are so _physical_. That love to touch and stroke and press against her, skin to skin. She adores it, but finds it funny that that’s how it worked out. Jess claims its because Alice only has good emotions, especially when they’re touching her, that it’s addictive. But comments like those usually result in more touching.)

He watches Alice bite down on Jess’s neck, the taller girl shuddering, and that’s it, he’s pulling over. He’s going to pull over and hope the backseat is big enough for three, because otherwise they’ll be doing this on the side of the road.

“ _Don’t_ stop the car,” Alice says firmly, as she kneels between Jess’s legs, popping each button of her jeans slowly before leaning down and pressing a kiss above the waistband of Jess’s underwear. Jess shivers, her hand gently resting against Alice’s cheek. Alice moves suddenly, pressing her knee between Jess’s legs as she pulls her into an enthusiastic kiss, fumbling up and under Jess’s t-shirt.

“Jessie, god,” Alice murmurs, and they pull apart long enough for Alice to tug the shirt off, and reveal that Jessamine has forgone a bra today. More than once, Alice has made that discovery at school and both girls had vanished into a janitors closet. He would have been jealous, except he thinks he clocked about the same amount of janitors’ closet time with Alice. These days, they’d probably drag him with them.

Through the rear-vision mirror, he watches Alice’s hands run over Jess’s breasts and torso, her mouth pressing against her throat, and Jess sighs into it, pulling Alice closer, her own hands working at the buttons of Alice’s dress. Jess raises her hips for Alice to tug off her jeans and panties in one motion, leaving Jess totally naked, pressed against the door with an aggressive Alice moving over her.

For a moment he considers asking Alice to join him in the front seat after she’s taken care of Jess; to ask her to put her mouth to better use. She stills for a second and then flashes him a wicked grin in through the mirror and he’s certain she saw his request; he’s just not certain if she’s going to honour it or tease him awhile longer.

She turns back to Jess and the kisses are deeper, longer, and Alice’s fingers slip between Jess’s legs, the blonde girl crying out and shuddering. It’s a very pretty picture, and Jasper is certain his wife is trying to kill both of them.

“Watch the speed,” Alice says bossily, and he realises his foot is nearly flat on the accelerator.

“Wouldn’t want to get caught,” he manages, and Alice smirks as both their minds reach the same place.

“Imagine it, Jas,” Alice said as she strokes Jess; the blonde girl’s eyes are closed, and her hips are moving in time with Alice’s hand. “Us getting caught right now, like this; you so desperate to get back here with us, Jessie so very close and completely bare. Me, touching her. Tasting her.” She paused long enough to press her mouth to Jess at an angle Jasper could see everything; the little kittenish licks of Alice’s tongue, Jess panting and pressing closer, the arousal in the car nearly a tangible thing, and Jasper didn’t know if he’d survive seeing Jess pounce on Alice.

Alice pulled away from Jess, pressing a kiss to her lips at Jessie’ protest. “You’d like to get caught with both of us, just once, wouldn’t you?” she met her husbands gaze in the rear-view mirror, her eyes dark and he knew this was effecting her just as badly as him and Jess; she was just a better actor. They’d have to stop somewhere, this had gotten wildly out of hand. He’s stuck between the urges of putting Alice on her knees and filling up that smart mouth, or giving Jess what she’s clearly so desperate for.

“Say it, Jasper,” Alice leant forward to press kisses to Jess’s face and neck. “I know what you and Emmett talk about.” She looked back at Jess, shivering at whatever emotion Jess was sending her. “Jasper just has to admit it, and I’ll give you everything you want,” she murmured against Jess’s skin.

He can’t see what Alice does but he hears Jess cry out and then hiss his name, the longing wrapping around him. Something lands in his lap, and he groans as he realises that its Alice’s panties, the moans and groans in the backseat rising in volume as the girls kiss and move against each other - or tease, in Alice’s case, because Jess’s agitation rises.

“Say it, Jas,” Alice purrs again, pressing delicate little kisses to Jess’s clavicle. Jess’s eyes are pitch black when they meet his in the mirror, and he kind of (definitely) wants to know exactly what retribution Jess will offer Alice for this particular game.

“ _Jasper_ ,” Jess hisses, her eyes closing again when Alice moves against her. “ _Please._ ”

His mouth is completely dry as he nods hypnotically. “ _Yes_ ,” he says roughly. “Yes, I want someone to see us together.”

“What do you want them to see?” Alice shoots back, and Jess growls, obviously irritated by Alice changing tactics.

“You and me and Jess. Together.” It’s been their new normal for a little while now, but just saying it here and now sounds lewd and obscene. “I want them to see how good you are to me, how good you are to each other.” Anywhere else, and he could paint them a very pretty picture of what he wants, but here and now, the words aren’t coming to him. It feels wrong somehow.

Alice is obviously satisfied, as she half-slams into Jess, peeling off the top half of her undone dress to hang around her waist as she moves over Jess, and the moans are getting louder and rougher, Alice’s jaw closing over Jess’s neck as Jess throws her head back and cries out.

The emotion hits him like a wall; and he hisses, the concept of ‘driving’ long since lost to some other part of his brain. He can smell Alice’s venom, the fissure in Jess’s skin, feel the heat between them; the longing they both have for him, the absolute love and adoration they have for each other. It’s a heady cocktail, one that he thrives on. Alice’s emotions remind him of music, certain notes ringing true in his head at all times. Jess’s are slowly fitting themselves together with hers, but he’s known Alice’s emotions intimately for over sixty years. He hasn’t studied and tasted Jess’s emotions for even half that time.

He watches Jess relax, and pull Alice in to a kiss, cradling her body in her arms. Alice is still on edge, and he watches Jess’s fingers drift down to the hem of her skirt

“Jasper!” Alice shrieks sitting up suddenly, and he looks down at the road, slightly disorientated but it’s too late by then because even course-correcting will cause the car to spin out so they go careening straight into the tree, while all three of them swear.

—

At that point, there’s no salvaging the situation, not really. The car is mangled - all three of them would most likely be dead if they had been human - and they’re all silent, weighing up what to do next.

Before Alice can advise them on the best-safest course of action, Jasper snaps his seatbelt and climbs into the backseat, pulling his wife against him as he settles between the girls.

“Jasper!” Alice is half-laughing, and he realises he actually surprised her.

“In for a penny,” he shrugs, tangling his hand into his wife’s hair and guiding her head towards his lap and she obliges, reaching for his belt buckle as Jasper snags a kiss from a dark-eyed Jess, who is already unbuttoning his shirt.

—

It’s not the worst thing they’ve ever done, but it may be the dumbest.

—

“This wasn’t the future I saw,” Alice insists, trying not to laugh. “You were _supposed_ to look back at the road! I _was_ going to join you in the front seat!”

They’ve somehow managed to put themselves back together, mostly - both Alice and Jess are missing their shoes, and he’s pretty sure Alice never reclaimed her underwear.

The car is a total write-off, he realises, but he already really knew that. Alice has managed to pile most of their luggage next to the car, and Jess is still fishing through the wreckage for her shoes, and anything else that might incriminate them.

Rosalie is going to be furious on principle - the Audi was only a year or two old, and Rose is protective of her cars like humans are protective of their pets. Carlisle’s going to be upset over anything that doesn’t stick to the plan, and Esme’s going to be horrified they got into an accident.

Edward will probably lecture them again.

Jess had sent out a text message saying they had had an accident and needed a pick-up. Short, sharp, and straight to the point. There was no point demanding answers from Jess over text - if she wanted you to know the answer, she would have included that information the first time around.

“I might have had my mind on other pressing matters, darlin’,” Jasper mutters, as he gives up his car inspection and looks over to where the girls have finally located their shoes, a shattered tablet, and two of Alice’s magazines.

Alice looks mournfully at the car. “It was going to be good, too,” she grumbled, jamming her feet into her shoes. “You were going to stick your hand up my dress after I finished,” she informed him, as he snags her around the waist in a flash of vampire-speed movement.

“Romantic,” Jess scoffs, but there’s no edge to it, not anymore.

“You say that like you don’t enjoy it too, Jessie,” Alice laughs, as Jasper lifts her onto the roof of the SUV. He can’t wait to get to Alaska now; they’ll play polite for awhile with Tanya and her family, and then he’s dragging both the girls off for a longer encounter. Twenty minutes in the backseat was not enough for any of them, but Alice had warned them that any longer would get them caught by their family.

“Well, it’s done now,” he says grimly, and Alice nods, looking up expectantly to see the Land Rover on the horizon.

“What’s the official line?” Jess climbs up to perch next to Alice, her messy hair the only indication that anything has ruffled her.

Alice flicks through her visions with a grimace.

“I have _no_ idea.”

—

Esme and Carlisle are visibly horrified as they climb out of the Land Rover, to see three of their children sitting on the ruined SUV, with a pile of luggage stacked haphazardly next to them. They’ve done a decent job of clearing it - Rosalie files off all the serial numbers on their cars to remain anonymous, meaning that the number plates are the only thing really tying the Cullens to a specific vehicle.

It means they can take the car to be salvaged, or they can just leave it here for someone else to deal with. It depends on what mood Rose is in.

“What _happened_? Are you _okay?_ ” Esme looks just as horrified as she would have been if they had been human and wrecked the car, as if she’s expecting them to complain of cuts and bruises. It’s one of the things Jasper appreciates about her - she genuinely, truly cares for them.

“We’re fine,” Alice reassures her. “A tablet died, though.” Not even Jasper could salvage it; it’s bent and cracked and isn’t worth keeping for the parts, not really.

Edward is looking at them with a suspicious expression but Jasper’s mind is full of remembering if there was anything they missed grabbing out of the dashboard; Jess is entirely focused on working out how much time they’ve lost during the trip and when they’ll get to Alaska now; and Alice is so focused on Esme and Carlisle he cannot get a glimpse into any other thoughts.

“What on earth happened?” Carlisle sounds bewildered and stressed; he likes his plans to go ahead without diversion, without issues, and this journey had been running like clockwork.

Probably why Alice and Jess were so bored to begin with. The family was a pretty even split between those who thrived on chaos and those who thrived on order. Maybe that was what made them work.

Before any of them formulate a response, the Jeep pulls up in a spray of dirt, and Rosalie is out and striding towards them before Emmett has turned off the ignition.

“What did you _do_?” Rosalie half-yells, and they all hang their heads.

“It’s just a car, Rose,” Esme tries to soothe, with promises of a replacement. But Rosalie can buy her own car; it’s the loss of this very specific vehicle that infuriates her.

“Jasper, Jessamine, Alice? What happened?” Carlisle asks them calmly, though he still looks bewildered.

“Moose.”

“Deer.”

“Tree.”

They’re uninspired excuses (honestly, Jasper’s just grateful Jess didn’t say, “road head” and Alice didn’t start giggling) but hopefully the banality will stick.

“Moose,” Carlisle repeats. “And a deer?”

“Jasper says it was a moose. Wasn’t big enough,” Jess shrugs carelessly.

“We swerved and hit the tree,” Alice provides, and dawning realisation is appearing on both Emmett and Edward’s faces, but on the opposite ends of the spectrum - Emmett is amused and delighted, and Edward is so disgusted he might be turning green.

“I. Don’t. Believe. You,” Rosalie stalks forward, looking each of them in the eye, as if she and Emmett didn’t destroy a Lexus back in Vermont - even the frame was unsalvageable.

They all have perfectly bland expressions on their faces, and Jasper decides a wave of total innocence and banality is the key to getting away with this.

But one of them breaks, one of them lets a whisper of a thought through and Edward _does_ turn green.

“You are all _disgusting_ ,” he snaps, throwing his arms up, and that’s enough to set Rosalie off again, before Carlisle sighs and steps in.

“It’s been a long trip,” he says. “We’re almost there. Whatever happened, it’s done. We need to pack the cars with the luggage and get back on the road.”

“Yes. And the three of you can travel separately,” Esme chimes in with the most well-timed and pointed punishment ever issued by the family matriarch - no attempts to separate them by Carlisle would be acknowledged by Jess, and none of them will do more than protest Esme’s orders. “Jessamine with Rose and Emmett, Alice with us. Jasper, you can take the bike. Rosalie, do you want to bring the car or leave it?”

Rosalie is still spitting mad at the destruction of one of her babies, and glares at them once more. “Leave it. There’s nothing to salvage,” she says with disgust before turning on her heel and heading back to the Jeep. “I leave in 10 seconds,” she snaps.

Emmett is grinning diabolically, and Jess rolls her eyes at the knowledge her favourite brother is going to be teasing, taunting and harassing her for details for the rest of the trip. She grabs her bags and follows him to the Jeep, looking more put-out than remorseful.

Rosalie peels away with a spray of dirt that feels like payback, and the rest of them start untethering the bike, and packing the luggage onto the trailer in its place. Edward is sighing, clicking his tongue, and shaking his head in judgement at them, and Alice is just making faces at him.

“Don’t fall back,” Carlisle warns as he hands Jasper a helmet. “We’ve got another day and a half, two days before we get there. Keep in contact.”

Jasper nods, strapping his phone into the phone mount. It’s rare he gets to ride the bike such a long distance, and it’ll be a nice change from the car, which he still feels guilty about. If Alice and Jess have left any room on his credit card, he’ll let Rose use it for the next restore job she tackles, as an apology.

Alice stands by the motorcycle as he mounts it, before leaning up to kiss him before he puts on the entirely-unnecessary helmet, she flits off towards the Land Rover, before pausing for a second.

“You’ll have to pick Jessie up in about 30 miles,” she says to him, grinning. “Rose’s going to kick her out of the car.”

“ _Why_?”

But Alice doesn’t respond, just blows him a kiss and hops up into the backseat, next to Edward.

And he can’t help but laugh.

**Author's Note:**

> \- Alice and Jess's favourite game is charging stuff to Jasper's credit card and see if he notices who they're shopping with. This was absolutely one of those times that when he realises, his brain shuts down. 
> 
> \- If you think that all the Cullens (except Edward) aren't defiling their extensive collection of cars on a regular basis, we should talk.
> 
> \- The idea of Alice, Jess, and Jasper being considered 'stoners' amuses me, and I like the idea of Jasper trying to emulate a stoned emotional cocktail on all three of them on really bad days at school. 
> 
> \- Hopefully, the fic that gives you some background on the relationship with be ready soon; there is a full backstory with character development and plot and explanation.


End file.
